WEEK 2, DAY 2

So last night was the first time in 3 weeks I came close to cheating. And I mean close!!

Thinking back I can see how it happened...

I was due to go to my kickboxing class but the girls I go with pulled out. I knew I would be the only one of 3 there (the other 2 being the instructor and this girl he flirts with) and I didn't want to be the third wheel so I took the opportunity to spend time with my puppy and took her to a friends house instead.

She made this fabulous dinner, slow cooked beef with new potatoes, asparagus and broccoli - it really was delicious and like being back in England at my parents! Plus it was freshly prepared and made from scratch so couldn't have been a more ideal meal.

Now I had a small portion, approximately 70g beef, 2 potatoes, 3 asparagus and a 2 florets of brocolli so no problems there and I worked it into my calories.

The drama began to unfold after she showed me the cookies and cream ice cream she had in her freezer and my mind went into a flurry...

Have any of you been to the Cold Rock ice cream place? When I first came to Perth I was really home sick and ate my feelings for about 6 months. This is how the stone I packed on came to be. Anyway, Cold Rock was a frequent favourite of mine and the flavour I would always go for was none other than Cookies and Cream with a handful of malteesers smashed in for good measure! And i'd always go for the large size although if i'm completely honest, I could have easily finished the family size.

Now I won't lie - I had exactly 4 tea spoon mouthfuls from the tub. And it was enough to bring me to the brink of binging. I'm talking heart racing, mind fogging, overwhelming sensations of wanting to lock myself in a room and demolish the entire tub. And it crossed my mind to have a bowl of it after dinner and put it down to "You've done so well Emma, what is one bowl going to do to you?".

And yes I know, in the grand scheme of things that one bowl wouldn't have done much damage but you know what? The feeling of guilt wouldn't have been worth it. For the sake of sticking to what I have promised myself, 100 days without cheats or binges, it would have been silly to throw the towel in.

And I won't sugar coat this people - it was bloody hard!!! Doing the right thing normally is. But I feel so amazing for it today. Today's Emma isn't suffering because of what yesterdays Emma chose to do and it was that exact mindset that helped to stop me because there is no greater battle than the one with yourself.

I also realised I think I have fooled myself a little bit when it comes down to exercise, convinced myself that it is just the food aspect that I need to work on when actually, exercise is what helps me keep focused when i'm having a craving or just a shit day in general.

Had I have gone kickboxing last night there is no way I would have come that close to a binge. Never have I done a workout and not felt fantastic! Those feel good endorphins make me feel ecstatic and like I can take on anything.

I've not done as much as I intended to do so far this week workout wise:

Monday: Bikram Yoga 90 mins
Tuesday: Kickboxing 60 mins
Wednesday: Boxing Fitness 30 mins
Thursday: Nothing

I was feeling a bit bleurgh last night after not going to kickboxing like I normally would on a Thursday and I should have lugged my arse to the gym and sweated it out instead of falling into a negative mind trap.

But there is a lesson to be learnt from this and I won't let it hold me back. I will gym today, do boxing Saturday morning and a gym and swim in the afternoon and then a gym session Sunday before work. I'll finish the week off with a bang and up my game!

I keep reminding myself that this is a lifelong journey and not one that will always be smooth. I'm only human and no one is perfect.

So here's to us falling sometimes, only to pick ourselves straight back up again!!

Forgive Me Father, For I Have Sinned....

But not the food kind of sin thankfully!!!

Nope I haven't blogged for a week and boy have I felt it. Literally hundreds of thoughts bouncing around in my little head at any one given moment and without the release it's been a bit noisy up in here!

So let's get down to the nitty gritty of the past week - I have not binged ONCE! That's right, 18 days without a cheat! That's 3 weekends over and done with and they are definitely where I struggle the most. The old "Oh i'll start on Monday" trick normally worms its way in but i've held strong.

Actually food wise on Friday night was yummy. I had a friend over and I made steak with mushrooms, baby tomatoes, baby corn, asparagus and sweet potato mash. Simple, tasty and much better than a take away plus I felt satisfied afterwards. I had a low fat hot chocolate for dessert and it hit the spot, teaching me that weekends don't require the need to dive head first into a bucket of ice cream (although wouldn't that be fun?!)

Saturday I did my boxing class instead of the SSS. It's a full on class, plenty of cardio, burpees, squats, lunges, skipping and bag work and most definitely a calorie burner. Sunday I enjoyed a rest day plus I made sure to get a couple of naps here and there.

For me this process is about getting my mind back to where it was before I moved to Australia, making the right decisions 90% of the time and not beating myself up and going on a binge the other 10%, more just allowing a treat every now and then.

On Monday I had the lasagna again, a re heated piece from last week's batch, and it was every bit as tasty! So nice just to throw it into the microwave too and not have to worry about cooking.

I tried my hand at Bikram Yoga this week too! For those of you who aren't familiar with the term it is 90 minutes of yoga poses in a heated room. Sweat literally pours from you and there were a couple of times I felt sick I have to say. Nothing too drastic but slightly uncomfortable. It is meant to be amazing for the joints and muscles and seeing as I take part in kickboxing and boxing 3 times a week I think it could really help with my flexibility.

I had a red flag day over the weekend in the form of a birthday brunch with friends so made sure to check the menu out before hand. I chose scrambled eggs with mushrooms and tomato on wholegrain toast with a skinny chai latte and plenty of water. Have you ever had a chai latte? OMG they are out of this world. I remember thinking what the hell is this spicy/sweet/creamy concoction the first time I tried one but by the second time I was hooked! Seeing as it was a brunch I skipped lunch and had a selection of fruits in the afternoon with my girlfriends which was yummy and enough to tide me over. All calories were accounted for and I still participated - didn't miss out on a thing :)

So far I feel really great about everything. Sure I have my moments where I want to indulge, that's to be expected. But the important thing is my stronger self wades in and reminds me of what I have to gain by pushing forward and that the feeling of a binge, however great at the time, is short lived and just not worth it.

Oh and did I mention I lost 1.7 kilos?? Because I did!!!

Now 3.5 from my goal weight and even more focused. I think the weight loss is going to slow down quite considerably as the weeks go on but that's ok, i'll keep at it anyway.

I even managed to squeeze into a pair of skinny jeans i'd bought when I first came out here which I couldn't get the zip up on a few months ago. Sure I still have a cheeky muffin top but at least my bum didn't eat them before I could get them up!

How did everyone else get on with the scales this week??

WEEK 1, Day 2

Feels good checking these days off!

I don't struggle too much during the week as my routine is pretty much the same so no cravings to report yet.

Breakfast was yummy, bircher muesli with berries and super easy to make! Dinner was meant to be lasagne but the mince didn't defrost so I made the pork again (same as last night) and it was every bit as tasty plus a doddle to make so win win. Obviously I adjusted my calories accordingly.

For my workout I did cardio kickboxing and didn't hold back! It's a fab class as girls only and we've all become friends. I have to admit my mouth sometimes gets too much of a workout ha!!

I've definitely been sleeping better without heaps of sugar rushing around me plus the intense workouts. And it's just nice not to feel weighted down with guilt constantly or over thinking what am I going to eat next or what diet can I start after my next binge. I feel like this programme is my security blanket and I trust it completely.

Looking forward to another day tomorrow!!

WEEK 1, Day 1

First day done! As quickly as it rolled around it was over and brought me one step closer to completing my 12 weeks.

I can't say I starved at all yesterday with my 3 meals and 3 snacks.

I substituted the lunch and dinner option for recipes of my choice and the dinner went down a treat in my household! I live with a friend and her boyfriend so she has the same size portion as me and for her other half we do double. Argh he is one of those annoyingly slim people who can eat whatever he likes, whenever he likes and actually lose weight!

Still I certainly didn't feel like I missed out yesterday and was very satisfied.

With regards to the snacks I am simply choosing my own but sticking to the calorie allowance which for me yesterday was 373 for snacks. So I had a muesli bar which was ideal for eating when I was up at 5am for an early start, and then a yogurt and 2 dates later in the day.

The pork with sweet potato mash, green beans and apple is already a firm favourite of mine and one that I found very easy to cook. Something i'll be whipping up in the future again and that would be a good meal if I have friends over.

Workout wise I did Tuesday's weight workout as tonight I have cardio kickboxing so I will be swapping around my workouts here and there - still completing what's asked from me in the week but just tweaking to fit my current class schedule. This is a lifestyle change for me and something that has to be sustainable.

*Note to self. Must wear better

sports bra next workout. No one wants my nipples in their face.*

I ended the day with food prep for the bircher muesli for this morning and again that was very simple to put together. People may think that being healthy takes more time than grabbing a take away and to some extent I can see why they might think that. But if you really think about it, you still have to drive to the drive thru to purchase your Big Mac or pick up the phone and get your money ready to take delivery of your pizza. It swings in roundabouts but at least you're not dishing yourself up a heart attack with a side serving of guilt when you make the right decision.

Day 2 - come at me!

6 Down, 2 To Go!

As we all approach the start of the round I have 2 of my pre season tasks left to complete - my fitness test and measurements/weight.

The fitness test is based on recording a few times/reps for selected exercises such as press ups and a ski sit which then pre-determine which exercise programme you should follow.

Looking over what scores you need in order to place in which category, I have already established I will be doing the Advanced Lean and Fit which will allow me to lose weight and tone. I'm pretty active already and take part in kickboxing, boxing and muay thai classes as well as boot camp and gym sessions so this will be challenge me perfectly.

The dreaded measurements and weight task is going to be my least favourite although for obvious reasons it's going to be one of the most important!!

I'll go into more detail about my current weight and stats when I complete the last task however I will say that I want to lose 8 kilos during this round and I appreciate that when you don't have a large chunk of weight to lose, it can come off slower that it would if say you had 40 kilos to lose. Therefore if I am not always seeing a great deal of movement on the scale it will be good to compare it to my measurements to see if they are moving down. I'm going to be particularly keen to see how my arms and back change as this is where I tend to hold my weight and can feel a little self conscious about it at times.

I shared the details of my upcoming task with a friend of mine recently, describing how I was dreading the moment of truth on the scales and she said this to me...

"Don't worry about your measurements and photo, and don't try to sugar coat them. It will be better for you to see a difference when you're finished! Even if it's embarrassing and you're unhappy with the photo - that's actually better!''

Her words made me realise how lucky I am to have such a supportive group of friends around me who are rooting for me to smash this challenge! It makes those moments of craving that little less tempting and makes me feel that much stronger. Because I still have that little voice in the back of my head sometimes that's whispering "You can't do this, you won't. Just give up now....join me for a mojito and Mcflurry in 5". Why is it we doubt ourselves before we've even begun??

That being said I feel prepared to do this, both mentally and physically. In the past I've approached so many fads and diets with a half arsed attitude and not wanted to make the commitment but I will attack this head on and succeed. I owe it to myself to do this. I'm already doing it! 6 days and counting with no treats or cheats - I deserve a medal or gold star at least!

So with that in mind i'll complete my last two tasks on my day off Saturday, stock up the fridge for my first week ahead and never look back...

Let's do this!!!!