WEEK 2, DAY 2

So last night was the first time in 3 weeks I came close to cheating. And I mean close!!

Thinking back I can see how it happened...

I was due to go to my kickboxing class but the girls I go with pulled out. I knew I would be the only one of 3 there (the other 2 being the instructor and this girl he flirts with) and I didn't want to be the third wheel so I took the opportunity to spend time with my puppy and took her to a friends house instead.

She made this fabulous dinner, slow cooked beef with new potatoes, asparagus and broccoli - it really was delicious and like being back in England at my parents! Plus it was freshly prepared and made from scratch so couldn't have been a more ideal meal.

Now I had a small portion, approximately 70g beef, 2 potatoes, 3 asparagus and a 2 florets of brocolli so no problems there and I worked it into my calories.

The drama began to unfold after she showed me the cookies and cream ice cream she had in her freezer and my mind went into a flurry...

Have any of you been to the Cold Rock ice cream place? When I first came to Perth I was really home sick and ate my feelings for about 6 months. This is how the stone I packed on came to be. Anyway, Cold Rock was a frequent favourite of mine and the flavour I would always go for was none other than Cookies and Cream with a handful of malteesers smashed in for good measure! And i'd always go for the large size although if i'm completely honest, I could have easily finished the family size.

Now I won't lie - I had exactly 4 tea spoon mouthfuls from the tub. And it was enough to bring me to the brink of binging. I'm talking heart racing, mind fogging, overwhelming sensations of wanting to lock myself in a room and demolish the entire tub. And it crossed my mind to have a bowl of it after dinner and put it down to "You've done so well Emma, what is one bowl going to do to you?".

And yes I know, in the grand scheme of things that one bowl wouldn't have done much damage but you know what? The feeling of guilt wouldn't have been worth it. For the sake of sticking to what I have promised myself, 100 days without cheats or binges, it would have been silly to throw the towel in.

And I won't sugar coat this people - it was bloody hard!!! Doing the right thing normally is. But I feel so amazing for it today. Today's Emma isn't suffering because of what yesterdays Emma chose to do and it was that exact mindset that helped to stop me because there is no greater battle than the one with yourself.

I also realised I think I have fooled myself a little bit when it comes down to exercise, convinced myself that it is just the food aspect that I need to work on when actually, exercise is what helps me keep focused when i'm having a craving or just a shit day in general.

Had I have gone kickboxing last night there is no way I would have come that close to a binge. Never have I done a workout and not felt fantastic! Those feel good endorphins make me feel ecstatic and like I can take on anything.

I've not done as much as I intended to do so far this week workout wise:

Monday: Bikram Yoga 90 mins
Tuesday: Kickboxing 60 mins
Wednesday: Boxing Fitness 30 mins
Thursday: Nothing

I was feeling a bit bleurgh last night after not going to kickboxing like I normally would on a Thursday and I should have lugged my arse to the gym and sweated it out instead of falling into a negative mind trap.

But there is a lesson to be learnt from this and I won't let it hold me back. I will gym today, do boxing Saturday morning and a gym and swim in the afternoon and then a gym session Sunday before work. I'll finish the week off with a bang and up my game!

I keep reminding myself that this is a lifelong journey and not one that will always be smooth. I'm only human and no one is perfect.

So here's to us falling sometimes, only to pick ourselves straight back up again!!

WEEK 1, Day 1

First day done! As quickly as it rolled around it was over and brought me one step closer to completing my 12 weeks.

I can't say I starved at all yesterday with my 3 meals and 3 snacks.

I substituted the lunch and dinner option for recipes of my choice and the dinner went down a treat in my household! I live with a friend and her boyfriend so she has the same size portion as me and for her other half we do double. Argh he is one of those annoyingly slim people who can eat whatever he likes, whenever he likes and actually lose weight!

Still I certainly didn't feel like I missed out yesterday and was very satisfied.

With regards to the snacks I am simply choosing my own but sticking to the calorie allowance which for me yesterday was 373 for snacks. So I had a muesli bar which was ideal for eating when I was up at 5am for an early start, and then a yogurt and 2 dates later in the day.

The pork with sweet potato mash, green beans and apple is already a firm favourite of mine and one that I found very easy to cook. Something i'll be whipping up in the future again and that would be a good meal if I have friends over.

Workout wise I did Tuesday's weight workout as tonight I have cardio kickboxing so I will be swapping around my workouts here and there - still completing what's asked from me in the week but just tweaking to fit my current class schedule. This is a lifestyle change for me and something that has to be sustainable.

*Note to self. Must wear better

sports bra next workout. No one wants my nipples in their face.*

I ended the day with food prep for the bircher muesli for this morning and again that was very simple to put together. People may think that being healthy takes more time than grabbing a take away and to some extent I can see why they might think that. But if you really think about it, you still have to drive to the drive thru to purchase your Big Mac or pick up the phone and get your money ready to take delivery of your pizza. It swings in roundabouts but at least you're not dishing yourself up a heart attack with a side serving of guilt when you make the right decision.

Day 2 - come at me!

Fitness Test and Weight

Holy shit, the moment of truth. There's no hiding from this and they don't break it to you gently like a friend might.....

MEASUREMENTS AND WEIGHT TASK!

 

So there we have it, the tape measure speaks the truth and has confirmed what I've always known - I hold my weight on my top half i.e. back, boobs and arms. That being said I have definitely chunked it on on my bum and hips (my skinny jeans can vouch for that).

 

In terms of weight my digital scales were kind enough to inform me I am currently sitting at 59.4 kilos - 5.4 kilos heavier than when I moved to Australia only 10 months ago. To be fair I should have put on more since i've eaten way more than my weight gain in ice cream alone...

 

I will have a little proud moment at losing just over a kilo since beginning pre season 2 weeks again though. Proof that it can be done when you make simple changes such as lowering your calorie intake and increasing exercise.

 

My goal weight is 52 kilos so 7.4 to go, totally doable in 12 weeks! Then I would like to join for another round and focus on leaning and building muscle.

 

Ha hark at me! Planning on joining another round and not even completed the first one yet! I suppose I should be pleased with my commitment though hey?

 

My fitness test proved that I have made the right decision in choosing the Advanced Lean and Fit programme based on my scores for my 1k run, plank, push ups, wall sit and flexibility so I made the right decision there.

 

Now all that's left is to take the before pic tonight eeeeeeeeekk! This time in 12 weeks I am determined to be posting a pic of me rocking a fab bikini with a huge smile on my face because all of the hard work has paid off!! I WILL SUCCEED!

 

How is everyone else feeling on the eve of round 2?! Excited, nervous, scared, determined, focused, hungry, tired, ecstatic, pumped, anxious - all of the above?!

 

Good luck to us all, let's smash this and unleash our best selves - we've been hiding for too long!!

 



I Deserve A F*cking Medal!

I could out eat a man. My house mate can vouch for that. And it's not something i'm proud of and not something to be celebrated, quite the opposite. It's my greedy tendencies that have gotten me to this point and the exact reason i'm doing this programme.

I promised to be honest on my blog and honest I shall be....Sunday SUCKED!

I went to a friends baby shower and boy had the host laid on the treats...

Cupcakes with pink frosting (she's having a girl), home made lemon slices, cheese, crackers, sausage, chicken and cheese croissants and soft drinks galore.

As each dish came round I found it easy to say no, I simply smiled politely and refused. It wasn't until the afternoon went on and my girlfriends were enjoying the treats that the devil on my shoulder started whispering in my ear....

"It's a Saturday Emma, enjoy your weekend."
"The programme doesn't start till Monday Emma, binge now and start again then."
"You're hardly big Emma, you have plenty of time to lose the weight."

I am proud to say I did not give in, not even once. I had a drink of water and one, just one cracker with a dice sized piece of cheese on which I used as my afternoon snack. I can't deny that there's an Emma shaped hole in the front door though from where I threw myself out...

By the time i'd gotten home I was feeling pretty angry and hungry. It's quite something isn't it - that food can change your mood so drastically? I was actually pissed off, why I don't know, but knew I wouldn't be able to think straight until I made myself some dinner.

So I had a home made chicken fajita wrap which included some light sour cream and grated cheese, all included in my calorie allowance of course and followed with a low fat yogurt and heaps of water. It wasn't pretty! I ate quicker than my puppy and that's saying something considering she actually climbs into her food bowl but it did the trick and with some food inside of me I was able to relax and finally feel proud of stretching my willpower and not giving in.

But I won't sugar coat it people - it was hard!! And it was a good 2-3 hours of fighting my own thoughts and putting my foot down. However I knew in the long run it wouldn't be worth giving in and any instant chocolatey satisfaction would soon be washed away with waves of guilt and annoyance.

I don't want to talk about it anymore, I want to be about it and that means riding out the cravings and pushing through.

That's 2 weekends under my belt now and holding strong :)

6 Down, 2 To Go!

As we all approach the start of the round I have 2 of my pre season tasks left to complete - my fitness test and measurements/weight.

The fitness test is based on recording a few times/reps for selected exercises such as press ups and a ski sit which then pre-determine which exercise programme you should follow.

Looking over what scores you need in order to place in which category, I have already established I will be doing the Advanced Lean and Fit which will allow me to lose weight and tone. I'm pretty active already and take part in kickboxing, boxing and muay thai classes as well as boot camp and gym sessions so this will be challenge me perfectly.

The dreaded measurements and weight task is going to be my least favourite although for obvious reasons it's going to be one of the most important!!

I'll go into more detail about my current weight and stats when I complete the last task however I will say that I want to lose 8 kilos during this round and I appreciate that when you don't have a large chunk of weight to lose, it can come off slower that it would if say you had 40 kilos to lose. Therefore if I am not always seeing a great deal of movement on the scale it will be good to compare it to my measurements to see if they are moving down. I'm going to be particularly keen to see how my arms and back change as this is where I tend to hold my weight and can feel a little self conscious about it at times.

I shared the details of my upcoming task with a friend of mine recently, describing how I was dreading the moment of truth on the scales and she said this to me...

"Don't worry about your measurements and photo, and don't try to sugar coat them. It will be better for you to see a difference when you're finished! Even if it's embarrassing and you're unhappy with the photo - that's actually better!''

Her words made me realise how lucky I am to have such a supportive group of friends around me who are rooting for me to smash this challenge! It makes those moments of craving that little less tempting and makes me feel that much stronger. Because I still have that little voice in the back of my head sometimes that's whispering "You can't do this, you won't. Just give up now....join me for a mojito and Mcflurry in 5". Why is it we doubt ourselves before we've even begun??

That being said I feel prepared to do this, both mentally and physically. In the past I've approached so many fads and diets with a half arsed attitude and not wanted to make the commitment but I will attack this head on and succeed. I owe it to myself to do this. I'm already doing it! 6 days and counting with no treats or cheats - I deserve a medal or gold star at least!

So with that in mind i'll complete my last two tasks on my day off Saturday, stock up the fridge for my first week ahead and never look back...

Let's do this!!!!

Latest Task - Plan & Diarise!

The latest task I completed for the Michelle Bridges 12wbt was the planning and diarising task.

Basically I had to write down what workout I will be doing on what day as per the format provided as well as my food shopping days and any "red flag""days.

For those of you not doing the 12wbt, a red flag day is any day that might set you back be it a wedding or holiday or a birthday party. The idea is that if you plan ahead and know when these days are coming you can be better prepared to prevent them disrupting you.

I actually have a 5 day holiday to Bali booked at the end of week 6 so needless to say there are 5 little flags already drawn out! Thankfully I am going with one of my best friends who is pregnant so the idea is to have a lot of down time, walks, massages, naps etc. We are there for her friends wedding so apart from the one meal that day I will have total control over what I eat.

Much like I have been sticking to 1200 calories in the run up to the programme starting and doing my own workouts for an hour, I shall do them same whilst in Bali. In fact i'm not too worried as i'll have done it before plus have total support and access to the site and forums. Really these red flags should be white flags because junk food is going to be waving one at me in defeat, just saying.

That being said I can totally see the benefit of planning your red flag days well in advance so they don't sneak up on you and being prepared has me feeling confident.

Aside from my holiday I have a friends birthday lunch the first Sunday into the programme so my plan is to check the menu before I go and keep the meal as clean as possible.

I suppose some may wish they didn't have any red flag events in the 12 weeks so temptation couldn't strike but I want to have instances that test my will power. I want to carry on with my social life and not miss out, just simply teach myself to make the better choices, each time growing a little stronger because of it. I'm not going to hide from anyone or anything.

So another task down and only 2 more to go!

Where Would All My Shoes Go??

What a great weekend and puppy drama free!

Saturday was boxing, sparring and a lovely lunch made by yours truly for some of my bestest girlfriends. I made a chicken and feta salad from scratch and had no complaints, quite the opposite! Thankfully my girlfriends are very health conscious and would rather a salad than a meal out of a packet.

Just in case you're wondering, ingredients for my salad as follows:

100g chicken
40g feta
Lettuce
Sundried tomatoes
Cucumber
Yellow capsicum
Red onion
Carrot
Drizzle of olive oil and vinaigrette

Yummo!!!

Sunday I had a lovely time meeting some other 12wbt members at an organised boot camp session in Scarborough. So great to meet ladies of all exercise levels to sweat it out for an hour and the session was really varied which I enjoyed. I don't know about you but I have to keep things mixed up or I can get bored pretty easily. I have to admit, I gave myself a firm talking to when my alarm went off at 6am and I was debating going. But go I did and I felt wonderful for it after! Plus when I got home I had a cheeky nap with my puppy so I still had a (delayed) lie in :)

Again I was bang on with calories yesterday, even having an extra snack to meet the full 1200. I can't wait to get the shopping list this week so it's laid out for me. Can't believe it's one week today we'll be starting!

Even though my weekend was a successful one I felt a bit rubbish this morning after putting on a pair of jeans I have brought over from England and them feeling tight. What did I expect though? I mean this is the whole reason i'm doing this challenge, to lose the weight I have gained and take back the control.

I guess up until facing it all I had been burying my head in a tub of ice cream, eating my feelings if I felt a little bit sad about my new muffin top and trying to make the realisation of it all go away. Then the next day starting the vicious cycle all over again, all the while the weight slooooowly creeping on.

I'm so done with living in the ice cream tub though - it has limited shoe space and there is a stronger, more confident me desperate to burst out!

So instead of feeling sad about my tight jeans I decided to swallow it, accept that yes this is my weight now but I am doing something about it and will continue to move forwards and forwards only. This is not for discussion!

The old Emma might have turned to food for comfort in a situation like this before but the new one, the new one will work her arse off at the gym tonight even harder because of it!

Angel on Emma's shoulder 1, Devil...0

Boxing session stats

 



 

Sunday's dinner - sweet potato, turkey and brocolli

 

 

Monday's lunch - ham, ricotta and cottage cheese wrap

Kitchen AND Friend Clear Out

So Task 5 was to clear out our kitchen cupboards and fridge from all of the junk we currently eat.

To give you a basic low down we're talking processed and most packet foods out and healthy fresh produce in.

Whilst waiting for the round to start I've simply been eating 1200 calories a day and avoiding crap. That being said I have been eating a muesli bar each day as one of my snacks so I shall be bidding farewell to my oaty friend after eating my last one today. I wonder what the snack choices will be during the 12wbt? For the mean time ill substitute with a piece of fruit or perhaps a small handful of nuts.

So we clear our kitchens out to rid ourselves of all the toxic food in our home right? Makes complete sense because to be the best version of ourselves we need to feed ourself the very best. But what about the other aspects in our lives or more to the point, what about toxic relationships/friendships? I'm a sucker for not letting friendships go simply because I don't want to appear a bitch, even when it's quite apparent we just aren't a good fit. You can't gel with everyone, that's just life....

I made the decision to rid myself of a couple of people on Facebook and erase their numbers on my phone. One a boy who I came to realise quickly was no good and the other a girl who comes with a suitcase full of drama. Neither bring anything positive to the relationships and life is too short to waste time.

It felt good to have a sort out in these aspects of my life and I encourage others to do the same! I believe in order to be happy we need to surround ourself with support and positivity and stop allowing others to pull us down occasionally.

So crap free kitchen, CHECK! Crap free friendships, CHECK!!

Ps is this not the biggest banana you have ever seen?!?