WEEK 2, DAY 2

So last night was the first time in 3 weeks I came close to cheating. And I mean close!!

Thinking back I can see how it happened...

I was due to go to my kickboxing class but the girls I go with pulled out. I knew I would be the only one of 3 there (the other 2 being the instructor and this girl he flirts with) and I didn't want to be the third wheel so I took the opportunity to spend time with my puppy and took her to a friends house instead.

She made this fabulous dinner, slow cooked beef with new potatoes, asparagus and broccoli - it really was delicious and like being back in England at my parents! Plus it was freshly prepared and made from scratch so couldn't have been a more ideal meal.

Now I had a small portion, approximately 70g beef, 2 potatoes, 3 asparagus and a 2 florets of brocolli so no problems there and I worked it into my calories.

The drama began to unfold after she showed me the cookies and cream ice cream she had in her freezer and my mind went into a flurry...

Have any of you been to the Cold Rock ice cream place? When I first came to Perth I was really home sick and ate my feelings for about 6 months. This is how the stone I packed on came to be. Anyway, Cold Rock was a frequent favourite of mine and the flavour I would always go for was none other than Cookies and Cream with a handful of malteesers smashed in for good measure! And i'd always go for the large size although if i'm completely honest, I could have easily finished the family size.

Now I won't lie - I had exactly 4 tea spoon mouthfuls from the tub. And it was enough to bring me to the brink of binging. I'm talking heart racing, mind fogging, overwhelming sensations of wanting to lock myself in a room and demolish the entire tub. And it crossed my mind to have a bowl of it after dinner and put it down to "You've done so well Emma, what is one bowl going to do to you?".

And yes I know, in the grand scheme of things that one bowl wouldn't have done much damage but you know what? The feeling of guilt wouldn't have been worth it. For the sake of sticking to what I have promised myself, 100 days without cheats or binges, it would have been silly to throw the towel in.

And I won't sugar coat this people - it was bloody hard!!! Doing the right thing normally is. But I feel so amazing for it today. Today's Emma isn't suffering because of what yesterdays Emma chose to do and it was that exact mindset that helped to stop me because there is no greater battle than the one with yourself.

I also realised I think I have fooled myself a little bit when it comes down to exercise, convinced myself that it is just the food aspect that I need to work on when actually, exercise is what helps me keep focused when i'm having a craving or just a shit day in general.

Had I have gone kickboxing last night there is no way I would have come that close to a binge. Never have I done a workout and not felt fantastic! Those feel good endorphins make me feel ecstatic and like I can take on anything.

I've not done as much as I intended to do so far this week workout wise:

Monday: Bikram Yoga 90 mins
Tuesday: Kickboxing 60 mins
Wednesday: Boxing Fitness 30 mins
Thursday: Nothing

I was feeling a bit bleurgh last night after not going to kickboxing like I normally would on a Thursday and I should have lugged my arse to the gym and sweated it out instead of falling into a negative mind trap.

But there is a lesson to be learnt from this and I won't let it hold me back. I will gym today, do boxing Saturday morning and a gym and swim in the afternoon and then a gym session Sunday before work. I'll finish the week off with a bang and up my game!

I keep reminding myself that this is a lifelong journey and not one that will always be smooth. I'm only human and no one is perfect.

So here's to us falling sometimes, only to pick ourselves straight back up again!!

Forgive Me Father, For I Have Sinned....

But not the food kind of sin thankfully!!!

Nope I haven't blogged for a week and boy have I felt it. Literally hundreds of thoughts bouncing around in my little head at any one given moment and without the release it's been a bit noisy up in here!

So let's get down to the nitty gritty of the past week - I have not binged ONCE! That's right, 18 days without a cheat! That's 3 weekends over and done with and they are definitely where I struggle the most. The old "Oh i'll start on Monday" trick normally worms its way in but i've held strong.

Actually food wise on Friday night was yummy. I had a friend over and I made steak with mushrooms, baby tomatoes, baby corn, asparagus and sweet potato mash. Simple, tasty and much better than a take away plus I felt satisfied afterwards. I had a low fat hot chocolate for dessert and it hit the spot, teaching me that weekends don't require the need to dive head first into a bucket of ice cream (although wouldn't that be fun?!)

Saturday I did my boxing class instead of the SSS. It's a full on class, plenty of cardio, burpees, squats, lunges, skipping and bag work and most definitely a calorie burner. Sunday I enjoyed a rest day plus I made sure to get a couple of naps here and there.

For me this process is about getting my mind back to where it was before I moved to Australia, making the right decisions 90% of the time and not beating myself up and going on a binge the other 10%, more just allowing a treat every now and then.

On Monday I had the lasagna again, a re heated piece from last week's batch, and it was every bit as tasty! So nice just to throw it into the microwave too and not have to worry about cooking.

I tried my hand at Bikram Yoga this week too! For those of you who aren't familiar with the term it is 90 minutes of yoga poses in a heated room. Sweat literally pours from you and there were a couple of times I felt sick I have to say. Nothing too drastic but slightly uncomfortable. It is meant to be amazing for the joints and muscles and seeing as I take part in kickboxing and boxing 3 times a week I think it could really help with my flexibility.

I had a red flag day over the weekend in the form of a birthday brunch with friends so made sure to check the menu out before hand. I chose scrambled eggs with mushrooms and tomato on wholegrain toast with a skinny chai latte and plenty of water. Have you ever had a chai latte? OMG they are out of this world. I remember thinking what the hell is this spicy/sweet/creamy concoction the first time I tried one but by the second time I was hooked! Seeing as it was a brunch I skipped lunch and had a selection of fruits in the afternoon with my girlfriends which was yummy and enough to tide me over. All calories were accounted for and I still participated - didn't miss out on a thing :)

So far I feel really great about everything. Sure I have my moments where I want to indulge, that's to be expected. But the important thing is my stronger self wades in and reminds me of what I have to gain by pushing forward and that the feeling of a binge, however great at the time, is short lived and just not worth it.

Oh and did I mention I lost 1.7 kilos?? Because I did!!!

Now 3.5 from my goal weight and even more focused. I think the weight loss is going to slow down quite considerably as the weeks go on but that's ok, i'll keep at it anyway.

I even managed to squeeze into a pair of skinny jeans i'd bought when I first came out here which I couldn't get the zip up on a few months ago. Sure I still have a cheeky muffin top but at least my bum didn't eat them before I could get them up!

How did everyone else get on with the scales this week??

WEEK 1, Day 2

Feels good checking these days off!

I don't struggle too much during the week as my routine is pretty much the same so no cravings to report yet.

Breakfast was yummy, bircher muesli with berries and super easy to make! Dinner was meant to be lasagne but the mince didn't defrost so I made the pork again (same as last night) and it was every bit as tasty plus a doddle to make so win win. Obviously I adjusted my calories accordingly.

For my workout I did cardio kickboxing and didn't hold back! It's a fab class as girls only and we've all become friends. I have to admit my mouth sometimes gets too much of a workout ha!!

I've definitely been sleeping better without heaps of sugar rushing around me plus the intense workouts. And it's just nice not to feel weighted down with guilt constantly or over thinking what am I going to eat next or what diet can I start after my next binge. I feel like this programme is my security blanket and I trust it completely.

Looking forward to another day tomorrow!!

Fitness Test and Weight

Holy shit, the moment of truth. There's no hiding from this and they don't break it to you gently like a friend might.....

MEASUREMENTS AND WEIGHT TASK!

 

So there we have it, the tape measure speaks the truth and has confirmed what I've always known - I hold my weight on my top half i.e. back, boobs and arms. That being said I have definitely chunked it on on my bum and hips (my skinny jeans can vouch for that).

 

In terms of weight my digital scales were kind enough to inform me I am currently sitting at 59.4 kilos - 5.4 kilos heavier than when I moved to Australia only 10 months ago. To be fair I should have put on more since i've eaten way more than my weight gain in ice cream alone...

 

I will have a little proud moment at losing just over a kilo since beginning pre season 2 weeks again though. Proof that it can be done when you make simple changes such as lowering your calorie intake and increasing exercise.

 

My goal weight is 52 kilos so 7.4 to go, totally doable in 12 weeks! Then I would like to join for another round and focus on leaning and building muscle.

 

Ha hark at me! Planning on joining another round and not even completed the first one yet! I suppose I should be pleased with my commitment though hey?

 

My fitness test proved that I have made the right decision in choosing the Advanced Lean and Fit programme based on my scores for my 1k run, plank, push ups, wall sit and flexibility so I made the right decision there.

 

Now all that's left is to take the before pic tonight eeeeeeeeekk! This time in 12 weeks I am determined to be posting a pic of me rocking a fab bikini with a huge smile on my face because all of the hard work has paid off!! I WILL SUCCEED!

 

How is everyone else feeling on the eve of round 2?! Excited, nervous, scared, determined, focused, hungry, tired, ecstatic, pumped, anxious - all of the above?!

 

Good luck to us all, let's smash this and unleash our best selves - we've been hiding for too long!!

 



6 Down, 2 To Go!

As we all approach the start of the round I have 2 of my pre season tasks left to complete - my fitness test and measurements/weight.

The fitness test is based on recording a few times/reps for selected exercises such as press ups and a ski sit which then pre-determine which exercise programme you should follow.

Looking over what scores you need in order to place in which category, I have already established I will be doing the Advanced Lean and Fit which will allow me to lose weight and tone. I'm pretty active already and take part in kickboxing, boxing and muay thai classes as well as boot camp and gym sessions so this will be challenge me perfectly.

The dreaded measurements and weight task is going to be my least favourite although for obvious reasons it's going to be one of the most important!!

I'll go into more detail about my current weight and stats when I complete the last task however I will say that I want to lose 8 kilos during this round and I appreciate that when you don't have a large chunk of weight to lose, it can come off slower that it would if say you had 40 kilos to lose. Therefore if I am not always seeing a great deal of movement on the scale it will be good to compare it to my measurements to see if they are moving down. I'm going to be particularly keen to see how my arms and back change as this is where I tend to hold my weight and can feel a little self conscious about it at times.

I shared the details of my upcoming task with a friend of mine recently, describing how I was dreading the moment of truth on the scales and she said this to me...

"Don't worry about your measurements and photo, and don't try to sugar coat them. It will be better for you to see a difference when you're finished! Even if it's embarrassing and you're unhappy with the photo - that's actually better!''

Her words made me realise how lucky I am to have such a supportive group of friends around me who are rooting for me to smash this challenge! It makes those moments of craving that little less tempting and makes me feel that much stronger. Because I still have that little voice in the back of my head sometimes that's whispering "You can't do this, you won't. Just give up now....join me for a mojito and Mcflurry in 5". Why is it we doubt ourselves before we've even begun??

That being said I feel prepared to do this, both mentally and physically. In the past I've approached so many fads and diets with a half arsed attitude and not wanted to make the commitment but I will attack this head on and succeed. I owe it to myself to do this. I'm already doing it! 6 days and counting with no treats or cheats - I deserve a medal or gold star at least!

So with that in mind i'll complete my last two tasks on my day off Saturday, stock up the fridge for my first week ahead and never look back...

Let's do this!!!!

Latest Task - Plan & Diarise!

The latest task I completed for the Michelle Bridges 12wbt was the planning and diarising task.

Basically I had to write down what workout I will be doing on what day as per the format provided as well as my food shopping days and any "red flag""days.

For those of you not doing the 12wbt, a red flag day is any day that might set you back be it a wedding or holiday or a birthday party. The idea is that if you plan ahead and know when these days are coming you can be better prepared to prevent them disrupting you.

I actually have a 5 day holiday to Bali booked at the end of week 6 so needless to say there are 5 little flags already drawn out! Thankfully I am going with one of my best friends who is pregnant so the idea is to have a lot of down time, walks, massages, naps etc. We are there for her friends wedding so apart from the one meal that day I will have total control over what I eat.

Much like I have been sticking to 1200 calories in the run up to the programme starting and doing my own workouts for an hour, I shall do them same whilst in Bali. In fact i'm not too worried as i'll have done it before plus have total support and access to the site and forums. Really these red flags should be white flags because junk food is going to be waving one at me in defeat, just saying.

That being said I can totally see the benefit of planning your red flag days well in advance so they don't sneak up on you and being prepared has me feeling confident.

Aside from my holiday I have a friends birthday lunch the first Sunday into the programme so my plan is to check the menu before I go and keep the meal as clean as possible.

I suppose some may wish they didn't have any red flag events in the 12 weeks so temptation couldn't strike but I want to have instances that test my will power. I want to carry on with my social life and not miss out, just simply teach myself to make the better choices, each time growing a little stronger because of it. I'm not going to hide from anyone or anything.

So another task down and only 2 more to go!

Where Would All My Shoes Go??

What a great weekend and puppy drama free!

Saturday was boxing, sparring and a lovely lunch made by yours truly for some of my bestest girlfriends. I made a chicken and feta salad from scratch and had no complaints, quite the opposite! Thankfully my girlfriends are very health conscious and would rather a salad than a meal out of a packet.

Just in case you're wondering, ingredients for my salad as follows:

100g chicken
40g feta
Lettuce
Sundried tomatoes
Cucumber
Yellow capsicum
Red onion
Carrot
Drizzle of olive oil and vinaigrette

Yummo!!!

Sunday I had a lovely time meeting some other 12wbt members at an organised boot camp session in Scarborough. So great to meet ladies of all exercise levels to sweat it out for an hour and the session was really varied which I enjoyed. I don't know about you but I have to keep things mixed up or I can get bored pretty easily. I have to admit, I gave myself a firm talking to when my alarm went off at 6am and I was debating going. But go I did and I felt wonderful for it after! Plus when I got home I had a cheeky nap with my puppy so I still had a (delayed) lie in :)

Again I was bang on with calories yesterday, even having an extra snack to meet the full 1200. I can't wait to get the shopping list this week so it's laid out for me. Can't believe it's one week today we'll be starting!

Even though my weekend was a successful one I felt a bit rubbish this morning after putting on a pair of jeans I have brought over from England and them feeling tight. What did I expect though? I mean this is the whole reason i'm doing this challenge, to lose the weight I have gained and take back the control.

I guess up until facing it all I had been burying my head in a tub of ice cream, eating my feelings if I felt a little bit sad about my new muffin top and trying to make the realisation of it all go away. Then the next day starting the vicious cycle all over again, all the while the weight slooooowly creeping on.

I'm so done with living in the ice cream tub though - it has limited shoe space and there is a stronger, more confident me desperate to burst out!

So instead of feeling sad about my tight jeans I decided to swallow it, accept that yes this is my weight now but I am doing something about it and will continue to move forwards and forwards only. This is not for discussion!

The old Emma might have turned to food for comfort in a situation like this before but the new one, the new one will work her arse off at the gym tonight even harder because of it!

Angel on Emma's shoulder 1, Devil...0

Boxing session stats

 



 

Sunday's dinner - sweet potato, turkey and brocolli

 

 

Monday's lunch - ham, ricotta and cottage cheese wrap

Kitchen AND Friend Clear Out

So Task 5 was to clear out our kitchen cupboards and fridge from all of the junk we currently eat.

To give you a basic low down we're talking processed and most packet foods out and healthy fresh produce in.

Whilst waiting for the round to start I've simply been eating 1200 calories a day and avoiding crap. That being said I have been eating a muesli bar each day as one of my snacks so I shall be bidding farewell to my oaty friend after eating my last one today. I wonder what the snack choices will be during the 12wbt? For the mean time ill substitute with a piece of fruit or perhaps a small handful of nuts.

So we clear our kitchens out to rid ourselves of all the toxic food in our home right? Makes complete sense because to be the best version of ourselves we need to feed ourself the very best. But what about the other aspects in our lives or more to the point, what about toxic relationships/friendships? I'm a sucker for not letting friendships go simply because I don't want to appear a bitch, even when it's quite apparent we just aren't a good fit. You can't gel with everyone, that's just life....

I made the decision to rid myself of a couple of people on Facebook and erase their numbers on my phone. One a boy who I came to realise quickly was no good and the other a girl who comes with a suitcase full of drama. Neither bring anything positive to the relationships and life is too short to waste time.

It felt good to have a sort out in these aspects of my life and I encourage others to do the same! I believe in order to be happy we need to surround ourself with support and positivity and stop allowing others to pull us down occasionally.

So crap free kitchen, CHECK! Crap free friendships, CHECK!!

Ps is this not the biggest banana you have ever seen?!?

It's a New Day

What a difference a day makes!

It was so nice to not wake up in a bed full of cookie crumbs and full of guilt (although in all seriousness I ate the packet of cookies on the sofa so the crumbs are probably on there instead).

I was torn yesterday over whether or not to put the link to my Blog on my Facebook page and inform everyone of what I was doing. I turned to the forums at one point for advice and was met with some mixed although very helpful responses. So nice to hear that others out there were in the same dilemma as me!

On the one hand I wanted people to know so in a way I was accountable and couldn't back out - does that make sense to anyone? Also to inspire others perhaps and just be honest in a way.

But on the other hand I thought if you need to make some sort of announcement just to see this through Emma then you're clearly not that serious about it. Or what if people were negative towards me and it set me back because my emotions got in the way??

So instead of clogging up people's news feeds I decided (for now) to join the Perth Crew Nor Group and post the link on there for other 12wbt members to see. After all, we are on the same journey, all looking for that extra bit of inspiration and support so it would be rude not to. I have to admit I am still toying with the idea of posting my Blog up but I am thinking perhaps a better time would be Day 1 of Week 1 and with a status along the lines of "Let's Do This!" and then those who are curious can read and those who aren't, won't. Urrrrggghhh even the idea of it still makes me shudder though!!

I have told my nearest and dearest about what I am doing and shared the link with them for now so it's a start. Baby steps....

So how did yesterday go for me?

I completely moved on from Sunday's slip and threw myself into eating 1200 calories and a gym session with a friend. Mainly cardio last night with some ab and core work at the end:

10 mins cross trainer
10 mins running
10 mins power walking
10 mins bike
6 mins abs
2 mins plank
Stretch

Felt good to finish a day with a workout! I like to mix the times I go up so I don't get bored - anyone else do that?

1200 calories can sound so little but when you're eating the right things you can eat so much.

Again boredom is a thing for me so I am forever trying to keep it interesting, trying different flavours and new recipes. I think that's why Michelle Bridges appeals to me so much. If someone told me I could only eat chicken and broccoli for 6 days of the week I think i'd go into melt down and eat the entire cake isle at IGA. Although IGA is super expensive so I might make the drive to Coles instead...

Anyway! Hope everyone else had a positive start to the week and if not, tomorrow is a new day :)

Goal Setting

Apart from the puppy emergency and slight set back last night, my weekend was quite a succesful one in terms of blogging and eating.

I stuck to my 1200 calories (crazy cookie episode aside - if I don't talk about it, it never happened right?!?!) and completed my "Goal" setting task.

I imagine some of mine are pretty similar to others of you on the 12wbt or journeys of your own such as weight loss and increased muscle tone but there is one very important goal for me in all of this and it isn't measured by a scale or jean size...

"Get back the control and form a healthy relationship towards food."

 

I don't think anyone should conform to a certain size or shape but I do believe that if we are in control and have a healthy relationship towards food as well as exercise, the rest falls into place. Speaking from experience, a negative and unhealthy relationship towards food is one that consumes you and makes you miserable.

 

And just in case you were wondering, here are my other goals for the next 12 weeks:

 

Month 1

• Lose 4kg
• Run 5k once a week on top of daily workouts
• Lift heavier at the gym
• Have 1 treat meal without feeling guilty
• No binging
• Book into a charity run

Month 2

• Lose 7kg
• Run 5k twice a week on top of daily workouts
• Lift heavier at the gym
• Stick to the plan whilst on my holiday in Bali
• No binging
• Try a new sport

Month 3

• Lose 10kg
• Run 5k three times a week on top of daily workouts
• Lift heavier at the gym
• No binging
• Complete my 12 weeks with a bang

 

I've thrown in a few extra special goals to achieve each month that I want to add to the above just to keep it interesting:

• Do something that scares me
• Create a recipe from scratch
• Do 20 burpees everyday (vom)
• Blog daily

Phew! I think that's enough to keep me busy?! Looking forward smashing these and hearing about goals that others have made.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

My Commitment

Let's be honest, most of us live our lives out through one form of social media or another...I know i'm certainly guilty of it!

We live in a society where we know what our neighbour down the street had for breakfast or what our ex's new girlfriend looks like. More to the point, we log on to search for this information!

So it seems only fitting that today I post the link to my Blog on my Face Book page and shout from the rooftops about what i'm doing.

But for those of you who may ask why, I write this post today....

I am not overweight. I know this. But I do have a bad relationship towards food and I would call myself a classic binge/emotional eater. I turn to food in moments of need or when i'm feeling stressed for a quick fix and since moving to Australia, these moments have become more frequent.

Why I hear you ask? I mean you're surrounded by beaches Emma, sunshine 9 months of the year, you have an amazing job, wonderful friends, the cutest puppy. What could you possibly have to moan about?

Don't get me wrong, I hear what you're saying!! I often ask myself the same thing, over and over and over again. I often bury what i'm feeling to those around me, choosing to suck it up and put it down to feeling a bit tired or having a bad day. But not dealing with how i'm feeling and being honest about it is what leads me to have these binge moments. I let it all build up inside until it becomes too much and I can't control it instead of dealing with the problem face on.

I'm telling you all of this today because I had one of these very moments last night.

On Saturday night I had a cosy night in planned with my puppy and housemates dog. They had gone out to watch a show and as I had a 4am start the next day, I was looking forward to a movie and an early night. At about 8.30pm my puppy was stung in the face by a bee and reacted badly. She couldn't breath properly and her whole face blew up with swelling. I went into auto pilot mode and after a quick call to my boss got her to the vets ASAP.

It must have been the longest 21 minute drive EVER! Marlot was taken straight in when I arrived, the bee sting pulled out of her nose and given a large dose of antihistamine to bring down the swelling. I couldn't leave until her heart rate had gone down as the vet said small puppies can go in anaphylactic shock so we needed to stay there.

I am so thankful to say that as I write this Marlot is at home safe and recovered, most likely eating the cat. She looks completely back to normal and escaped having to be pumped full of steroids.

I went to work yesterday and the world kept on moving!

But last night when I finally sat down after a day at work, my housemates had left for dinner and I was with my thoughts, it hit me. That feeling started to creep up inside of me.

Marlot could have died.
I am a shit owner.
I couldn't ring my Mum for help.
I didn't even know how to get to the vets.
I am so isolated in this place.

I got inside my head and weighted down by all of this negative thinking. I was tired from 4 hours sleep the previous night and I saw no way out of it. So I ate 17 biscuits and a plate of wedges. Yes I can hear you laughing! My boss did the same thing and I can actually laugh about it today because it seems sooooooo silly now! But at the time I was so upset and saw no other way to cheer myself up. But I want out of this ridiculous cycle! I know i'm not a big girl but i'm not happy with what i'm doing to myself and I want the control back.

So this is me, baring it all. Admitting that although I love, love, LOVE my new life here in Australia I do get a bit sad by it all sometimes and turn to food for comfort.

I'm sad that I can't call my Mum in a time of need.
I'm sad that my Aunty is suffering with cancer and í'm not there to give her a hug.
I'm sad that there are friend's babies i've not even met yet.
I'm sad that my puppy isn't playing with our family dog.
And i'm sad that chocolate just doesn't taste the same over here!

All this being said, i'm glad that it happened. My wonderful friend woke me up with a healthy breakfast this morning, she made me a salad for lunch and she sat me down to talk things over. Something i've been trying my best to avoid because a part of me feels like i'm a failure or somehow ungrateful if I talk about missing home. Others out there are suffering on a daily basis and i'm moaning because I miss my Mum. A risk I took when I moved here.

It's made me realise that it's ok to be open and honest about things, that it is normal to miss the place I grew up in and have 25 years worth of memories. Dealing with the feeling is better than burying it with biscuits and waking up the next day wracked with guilt. Instead of pretending to myself and to others that I am happy 100% of the time, I will be honest and i'll work through it.

Yes I have the best job that has allowed me to do and see things I never could have done in England.
Yes I have the most amazing friends who feel like they have been a part of my life forever.
Yes I have a lifestyle most people dream of.

But it is ok despite all of the above to sometimes just miss riding my pony with my cousins in our flooded school because it's pissed it down with rain all month and feel a little bit lonely because of it. I'm only human.

So in light of last night's feast supreme I have come up with a plan to help me the next time a situation like this might present itself. Behold my list!

Whenever I feel like a naughty little binge i'll do these things instead, work through my list and end it with some sleep. Because let's face it, there's nothing like a new day to help you move on and put things into perspective.

The most recent task I have to complete for the Michelle Bridges 12wbt is the "Commitment'' task. So here is my commitment to myself and for all to read - I will do this for myself and I shall smash the 12 weeks! It will be hard sometimes but that's ok, i'll work through it and i'll be honest the entire journey.

Who knows, perhaps being so open about what i'm doing and why will not only help me but others out there who are in a similar situation? That would be pretty cool :)

The "Should" Word

I went to the movies last night to see Iron Man 3 (a little bit fucking awesome I might add) and I found myself in a "should" situation.

You know the one..."I'm going to the movies so I SHOULD" eat popcorn as it's the norm. A bit like its sister scenario "I'm going out with the girls so I SHOULD drink 20 cocktails."

I've created habits for myself which need to be broken and instead of taking "should" out of my vocabulary all together, I need to spin it around.

I SHOULD workout everyday. I SHOULD eat healthily everyday. I SHOULD smash this Michelle Bridges 12wbt and give myself a reason to be proud.

Oh and by the way, "should" in my dictionary actually means "will"....

Needless to say there was no popcorn in my lap last night and I woke up with a clear conscience. I SHOULD be proud of myself :)