I Deserve A F*cking Medal!

I could out eat a man. My house mate can vouch for that. And it's not something i'm proud of and not something to be celebrated, quite the opposite. It's my greedy tendencies that have gotten me to this point and the exact reason i'm doing this programme.

I promised to be honest on my blog and honest I shall be....Sunday SUCKED!

I went to a friends baby shower and boy had the host laid on the treats...

Cupcakes with pink frosting (she's having a girl), home made lemon slices, cheese, crackers, sausage, chicken and cheese croissants and soft drinks galore.

As each dish came round I found it easy to say no, I simply smiled politely and refused. It wasn't until the afternoon went on and my girlfriends were enjoying the treats that the devil on my shoulder started whispering in my ear....

"It's a Saturday Emma, enjoy your weekend."
"The programme doesn't start till Monday Emma, binge now and start again then."
"You're hardly big Emma, you have plenty of time to lose the weight."

I am proud to say I did not give in, not even once. I had a drink of water and one, just one cracker with a dice sized piece of cheese on which I used as my afternoon snack. I can't deny that there's an Emma shaped hole in the front door though from where I threw myself out...

By the time i'd gotten home I was feeling pretty angry and hungry. It's quite something isn't it - that food can change your mood so drastically? I was actually pissed off, why I don't know, but knew I wouldn't be able to think straight until I made myself some dinner.

So I had a home made chicken fajita wrap which included some light sour cream and grated cheese, all included in my calorie allowance of course and followed with a low fat yogurt and heaps of water. It wasn't pretty! I ate quicker than my puppy and that's saying something considering she actually climbs into her food bowl but it did the trick and with some food inside of me I was able to relax and finally feel proud of stretching my willpower and not giving in.

But I won't sugar coat it people - it was hard!! And it was a good 2-3 hours of fighting my own thoughts and putting my foot down. However I knew in the long run it wouldn't be worth giving in and any instant chocolatey satisfaction would soon be washed away with waves of guilt and annoyance.

I don't want to talk about it anymore, I want to be about it and that means riding out the cravings and pushing through.

That's 2 weekends under my belt now and holding strong :)